Long before Bhangra Boy and I had the opportunity to meet, I had heard so many wonderful things about him. Liberal Lady gave me details on his charismatic character. She used words such as 'attentive', 'understanding' to give me an idea of the type of person Bhangra Boy was to her.
During July 4th weekend of 2005, Liberal Lady brought Bhangra Boy to my home so I could finally meet him. As soon as I saw him, I could see what it was about him that she loved so much.
First of all, Bhangra Boy looked at Liberal Lady as though it was the first time he had ever seen her. He never failed to ask her opinion on matters, and always seemed to beam when she was eloquently speaking. The fact that he could handle a very independent woman like Liberal Lady was amazing enough, but he continued to exceed my expectations in just his demeanor to myself and my husband.
Over the past year, I have come to know him much better. He is a talented musician and dancer. He even taught Indian Bhangra dance in the past! (Hence the name Bhangra Boy). He has a passion for community work just like Liberal Lady. He even is a devout and spiritual practicing Hindu. Every time I meet him, I learn something new, and I feel happier for Liberal Lady because I know she has found her 'Knight in Shining Armor.'
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
5 Ways to Relieve Wedding Stress
Wedding planning is stressful - there's no two ways about it. Regardless of whether you've got the wedding party from heaven or if your families are super helpful and accommodating, it's still a stressful process.
Here are a few easy distressing methods that won't leave you atop a mountain of credit card debt or hungover in the morning:
1) A warm, sudsy bath and a good book: I know, you're thinking a bubble bath? You've got to be kidding me. But the truth is that baths are great stress relievers and it offers a few unfettered moments to curl up and think about something other than guest lists and place settings.
2) A back massage: You have a fiance, put him to good use by allowing him to give you a nice back massage. Not only will it relieve those traitorous stress knots in your back, but it will allow you to get a little closer, without fumes shooting from your ears.
3) A long walk or jog: Nothing is more reviving after a stressful day then decompressing with a little invigorating exercise. If you are particularly upset, run as fast as you can.
4) Deep breaths: Okay, it might sound a little corny, but in the height of stress for me this was my number one stress fighting tool. Deep breathing helped me to relax a lot so that I could go on without maiming anyone.
5) A night out: Whether it's with the girls or with your bethroved, a night out without considering wedding plans can help a lot. Hit a local club or go into the nearest city for some great food and fun entertainment. Whatever your idea of a night out is, banish the wedding woes and enjoy yourself.
Here are a few easy distressing methods that won't leave you atop a mountain of credit card debt or hungover in the morning:
1) A warm, sudsy bath and a good book: I know, you're thinking a bubble bath? You've got to be kidding me. But the truth is that baths are great stress relievers and it offers a few unfettered moments to curl up and think about something other than guest lists and place settings.
2) A back massage: You have a fiance, put him to good use by allowing him to give you a nice back massage. Not only will it relieve those traitorous stress knots in your back, but it will allow you to get a little closer, without fumes shooting from your ears.
3) A long walk or jog: Nothing is more reviving after a stressful day then decompressing with a little invigorating exercise. If you are particularly upset, run as fast as you can.
4) Deep breaths: Okay, it might sound a little corny, but in the height of stress for me this was my number one stress fighting tool. Deep breathing helped me to relax a lot so that I could go on without maiming anyone.
5) A night out: Whether it's with the girls or with your bethroved, a night out without considering wedding plans can help a lot. Hit a local club or go into the nearest city for some great food and fun entertainment. Whatever your idea of a night out is, banish the wedding woes and enjoy yourself.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Five Budget Tips when booking Reception Halls
On a budget? Don't sweat it!
A previous post covered the essentials on how and why it is important to book your reception hall/venue. This post will give you a few key tips on saving money when it comes to negotiating the dollar amount for the venue of your choosing into easy bullets below.
Budget Tips:
#1 Never book your party for a Saturday evening!
This time slot is the most sought after, and therefore in the highest demand. Save a significant sum throwing the party in the afternoon or even a weekday evening.
#2 If possible, book the party on an unusual holiday when most people do not get married.
An example of this is my wedding. I had my wedding on Halloween. No, it was not a goth wedding and I was not wearing a black dress. It worked out perfectly and I saved a ton of money too!
#3 Book the venue when it is not wedding season.
Depending on the region the high and low times for weddings vary. In the Northeast, typically the season starts at the beginning of spring and ends at the end of Fall, therefore making Winter the perfect money saving time to book the venue.
#4 If possible, do not make it an open bar occasion.
Now, personally I don't like giving this tip to people since I know a little alcohol can go a long way. It's pretty annoying to have to pay for a drink at a wedding. However, if you are trying to save money, this can definitely help you save a few dollars.
#5 Pick a room with a capacity limit and invite only close friends and family.
This seems obvious but you would be surprised how many distant cousins suddenly come out of the woodwork when they find out you are getting married. A good rule of thumb when inviting guests, if they do not know you by name, then they are not invited. If you come across people upset they are not invited, you always have the option of telling the truth that there is a capacity limit in the hall and you are very sorry.
A previous post covered the essentials on how and why it is important to book your reception hall/venue. This post will give you a few key tips on saving money when it comes to negotiating the dollar amount for the venue of your choosing into easy bullets below.
Budget Tips:
#1 Never book your party for a Saturday evening!
This time slot is the most sought after, and therefore in the highest demand. Save a significant sum throwing the party in the afternoon or even a weekday evening.
#2 If possible, book the party on an unusual holiday when most people do not get married.
An example of this is my wedding. I had my wedding on Halloween. No, it was not a goth wedding and I was not wearing a black dress. It worked out perfectly and I saved a ton of money too!
#3 Book the venue when it is not wedding season.
Depending on the region the high and low times for weddings vary. In the Northeast, typically the season starts at the beginning of spring and ends at the end of Fall, therefore making Winter the perfect money saving time to book the venue.
#4 If possible, do not make it an open bar occasion.
Now, personally I don't like giving this tip to people since I know a little alcohol can go a long way. It's pretty annoying to have to pay for a drink at a wedding. However, if you are trying to save money, this can definitely help you save a few dollars.
#5 Pick a room with a capacity limit and invite only close friends and family.
This seems obvious but you would be surprised how many distant cousins suddenly come out of the woodwork when they find out you are getting married. A good rule of thumb when inviting guests, if they do not know you by name, then they are not invited. If you come across people upset they are not invited, you always have the option of telling the truth that there is a capacity limit in the hall and you are very sorry.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
How to Choose a Wedding Reception Hall
Okay, so you’ve gotten engaged, decided the general area where you want the wedding to be held and are ready to start planning. What now?
One of the earliest and most important wedding task that a bridegroom must do is choose their wedding reception hall. For some couples, the wedding reception hall doubles as the ceremony site as well.
So why is choosing a wedding reception hall important? This is the venue that the majority of the wedding will take place at. This is where most of the bridegroom’s wedding memories will be formed from. It will be the food served at the location that guests talk about, and the atmosphere that they recall. Choose carefully.
It’s imperative that you don’t settle on one reception venue without considering the other location options available for your wedding first. While Venue A might pop immediately into your head, looking around at Venue B and Venue C as well could open your eyes to what else is available or even give your more ideas of what you want from the wedding reception hall you choose.
Evaluating your desires for your wedding reception hall:
When choosing the wedding reception hall, first identify what your ideal vision of the venue is. Both the bride and the groom should take part in this, as the decision regarding the location is one that will affect both.
Here are some good points to consider:
- Personal style: Do you prefer things to be more simple, elaborate, fairytale-like or some other style? Your vision of your wedding day will influence what wedding reception hall you should choose. If the bride and the groom have different visions, it’s important to talk through the differing visions of the location and decide how to effectuate a compromise for the wedding reception hall.
- Guest list: Deciding how many people you intend to invite to the wedding matters. This will influence the size of the wedding reception hall necessary. Try to make a rough estimate of how many on the guest list will come as well so that you have a roundabout number to discuss regarding the venue.
- Ceremony plans: Where will the ceremony be held? If you are having the ceremony at a separate location, decide how far from the ceremony venue to the wedding reception hall you are willing to travel. Bear in mind that your guests will have to do this traveling too and it’s not nice to make them travel great distances between the two locations.
- Timeframe: Between the bride, the groom and the respective families, a timeframe for the wedding needs to be set. If you have a specific date in mind, be sure to run it by everyone. If not, narrow down the time frame to a month and year or a few dates.
Narrowing down the potential venue list:
In order to narrow the list of potential wedding reception hall locations, first you must make it. Populate your potential wedding reception hall location list with all the available wedding reception locations within the area you want to have the reception. Be sure to include venues such as any hotels with the appropriate facilities, country clubs, etc. You might even consider alternate locations like a family member’s backyard.
Now, compare that list to your list of desires. The wedding reception halls that meet all your wants should top the venue list. If that accounts for more than five venues, then you have your full list. If not, evaluate the list for wedding reception halls that meet most of your desires. Ideally you want your pared down list to contain at least 2-3 venues but no more than 8-9 venues.
One you have your list, make appointments with all the potential wedding reception locations on the pared down list to visit and further evaluate.
Visit the locations:
When visiting potential wedding reception locations, be prepared. It’s likely that the sales people will try to get you to commit immediately to their venue but it’s important that you stand your ground and see all the venues first. They might even try to tell you that the date won’t be available if you wait. This is usually just a scare tactic.
Choosing a wedding reception hall is a process that shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s an important choice. Besides, it never hurts to let them sweat it out a bit because you could end up with extras thrown in to seal the deal.
You should be armed with a list of pertinent questions for each venue and somewhere to write the answers down (don’t forget the pen!). You’ll want to get the same answers from all the potential wedding reception hall locations so that you can go back and compare them later. You may also want to bring a camera and get a shot or two of each venue for your evaluation later.
Sample Questions:
1) What are your pricing packages and what do they include?
2) Do you provide catering services on site? Can we provide our own if we choose?
3) Will you provide the cake or do we need to get it from a bakery?
4) How many hours are included in the venue rental?
5) Is there an additional cost to have the ceremony at the wedding reception venue?
6) How many servers/waitstaff/bartenders will be provided based on our expected number of guests?
7) Is there a bridal suite for the bridal party?
8) Will there be other wedding receptions happening at the same time here as mine?
9) What additional charges are there for additional services such as open bar, valet parking, etc?
10) What is the availability of the venue during the desired timeframe?
Also, when visiting, pay attention to the staff’s behavior. Make sure that they make you feel comfortable, particularly the sales person who’ll be helping you plan and organize the reception details with respect to the location. The wedding reception hall that you choose should have attentive staff who make you feel comfortable and who are willing to work with you.
Choosing the wedding reception location:
After you’ve visited all the locations, compare the information you’ve compiled and decide which venues still meet your wants and desires. If there are several venues that you liked and meet your needs, it’s time to narrow the selection more.
This can be done by making lists of pros and cons of each location. Consider the cost, inclusions and the visual aspects of the wedding reception hall location. Also include the feelings you had about each place. Was it comfortable? Too formal? Were the staff friendly and helpful?
Be sure to include your fiancé and possibly even your families in this decision and be open-minded to their opinions – you might just find yourself agreeing with them. Remember that if you save some money on the wedding reception location, it could go to other aspects of the wedding like dress, flowers and limos.
Finally, once you’ve chosen your wedding reception hall location, it’s time to inform the wedding reception hall of your choice. Be sure to book your wedding reception hall location as early as possible as dates tend to fill up far in advance. A non-refundable deposit will likely be required in order to lock in your chosen date. Some venues do, for a fee, allow that charge to be refunded though, but that fee must be paid up front.
One of the earliest and most important wedding task that a bridegroom must do is choose their wedding reception hall. For some couples, the wedding reception hall doubles as the ceremony site as well.
So why is choosing a wedding reception hall important? This is the venue that the majority of the wedding will take place at. This is where most of the bridegroom’s wedding memories will be formed from. It will be the food served at the location that guests talk about, and the atmosphere that they recall. Choose carefully.
It’s imperative that you don’t settle on one reception venue without considering the other location options available for your wedding first. While Venue A might pop immediately into your head, looking around at Venue B and Venue C as well could open your eyes to what else is available or even give your more ideas of what you want from the wedding reception hall you choose.
Evaluating your desires for your wedding reception hall:
When choosing the wedding reception hall, first identify what your ideal vision of the venue is. Both the bride and the groom should take part in this, as the decision regarding the location is one that will affect both.
Here are some good points to consider:
- Personal style: Do you prefer things to be more simple, elaborate, fairytale-like or some other style? Your vision of your wedding day will influence what wedding reception hall you should choose. If the bride and the groom have different visions, it’s important to talk through the differing visions of the location and decide how to effectuate a compromise for the wedding reception hall.
- Guest list: Deciding how many people you intend to invite to the wedding matters. This will influence the size of the wedding reception hall necessary. Try to make a rough estimate of how many on the guest list will come as well so that you have a roundabout number to discuss regarding the venue.
- Ceremony plans: Where will the ceremony be held? If you are having the ceremony at a separate location, decide how far from the ceremony venue to the wedding reception hall you are willing to travel. Bear in mind that your guests will have to do this traveling too and it’s not nice to make them travel great distances between the two locations.
- Timeframe: Between the bride, the groom and the respective families, a timeframe for the wedding needs to be set. If you have a specific date in mind, be sure to run it by everyone. If not, narrow down the time frame to a month and year or a few dates.
Narrowing down the potential venue list:
In order to narrow the list of potential wedding reception hall locations, first you must make it. Populate your potential wedding reception hall location list with all the available wedding reception locations within the area you want to have the reception. Be sure to include venues such as any hotels with the appropriate facilities, country clubs, etc. You might even consider alternate locations like a family member’s backyard.
Now, compare that list to your list of desires. The wedding reception halls that meet all your wants should top the venue list. If that accounts for more than five venues, then you have your full list. If not, evaluate the list for wedding reception halls that meet most of your desires. Ideally you want your pared down list to contain at least 2-3 venues but no more than 8-9 venues.
One you have your list, make appointments with all the potential wedding reception locations on the pared down list to visit and further evaluate.
Visit the locations:
When visiting potential wedding reception locations, be prepared. It’s likely that the sales people will try to get you to commit immediately to their venue but it’s important that you stand your ground and see all the venues first. They might even try to tell you that the date won’t be available if you wait. This is usually just a scare tactic.
Choosing a wedding reception hall is a process that shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s an important choice. Besides, it never hurts to let them sweat it out a bit because you could end up with extras thrown in to seal the deal.
You should be armed with a list of pertinent questions for each venue and somewhere to write the answers down (don’t forget the pen!). You’ll want to get the same answers from all the potential wedding reception hall locations so that you can go back and compare them later. You may also want to bring a camera and get a shot or two of each venue for your evaluation later.
Sample Questions:
1) What are your pricing packages and what do they include?
2) Do you provide catering services on site? Can we provide our own if we choose?
3) Will you provide the cake or do we need to get it from a bakery?
4) How many hours are included in the venue rental?
5) Is there an additional cost to have the ceremony at the wedding reception venue?
6) How many servers/waitstaff/bartenders will be provided based on our expected number of guests?
7) Is there a bridal suite for the bridal party?
8) Will there be other wedding receptions happening at the same time here as mine?
9) What additional charges are there for additional services such as open bar, valet parking, etc?
10) What is the availability of the venue during the desired timeframe?
Also, when visiting, pay attention to the staff’s behavior. Make sure that they make you feel comfortable, particularly the sales person who’ll be helping you plan and organize the reception details with respect to the location. The wedding reception hall that you choose should have attentive staff who make you feel comfortable and who are willing to work with you.
Choosing the wedding reception location:
After you’ve visited all the locations, compare the information you’ve compiled and decide which venues still meet your wants and desires. If there are several venues that you liked and meet your needs, it’s time to narrow the selection more.
This can be done by making lists of pros and cons of each location. Consider the cost, inclusions and the visual aspects of the wedding reception hall location. Also include the feelings you had about each place. Was it comfortable? Too formal? Were the staff friendly and helpful?
Be sure to include your fiancé and possibly even your families in this decision and be open-minded to their opinions – you might just find yourself agreeing with them. Remember that if you save some money on the wedding reception location, it could go to other aspects of the wedding like dress, flowers and limos.
Finally, once you’ve chosen your wedding reception hall location, it’s time to inform the wedding reception hall of your choice. Be sure to book your wedding reception hall location as early as possible as dates tend to fill up far in advance. A non-refundable deposit will likely be required in order to lock in your chosen date. Some venues do, for a fee, allow that charge to be refunded though, but that fee must be paid up front.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Don't forget to book the honeymoon
As you embark on your journey to getting married, you will need to plan out every aspect of the day. Booking the reception hall, picking out flowers, sending out invitations and choosing your wedding party are just the beginning of planning the day. As you dive deep into signing contracts with vendors and working out how to finance the wedding, please do not forget to book your honeymoon. Planning your honeymoon is equally important as planning for the wedding day itself.
Why? The reason is simple and complex at the same time.
The simple answer, if you do not book the honeymoon you will feel you have nothing to look forward towards other than getting through the wedding day in one piece.
The complex answer is that while you may have imagined planning your wedding from the age of twelve, not everything necessarily could go according to your plan. In all great projects, everyone has obstacles to overcome and stress to deal with before the major event. Booking your honeymoon will give you a vacation to look forward to after the most stressful day of your life. Yes, your wedding day is known as the most stressful day of your life. The first day of your honeymoon, well, the word honeymoon just speaks for itself doesn't it?
And you don't need to go to some exotic place that costs oodles of money to have fun. Sure, booking a trip to Paris, Hawaii, a cruise through the Carribean, or an adventure outing in the African safari sounds great. However, all you need is some time with your newlywed spouse. That means if you think it is cheaper to go somewhere locally, then do so. Be sure to book it so that you will leave a few days after the wedding so you have time to recover from the big day. The last thing you want is to sleep in and miss your vacation!
Another piece of advice is that if you are not leaving the country and your cell phone has reception, remember to keep it off. The honeymoon is a time not to be bothered with your day to day stresses, whether it is from work or in-laws. If you have a hard time keeping the phone off, either keep it on silent always, or leave it at home. The peace and quite is worth it.
Take it from me, book your honeymoon as soon as possible, and you will be thanking me later!
Why? The reason is simple and complex at the same time.
The simple answer, if you do not book the honeymoon you will feel you have nothing to look forward towards other than getting through the wedding day in one piece.
The complex answer is that while you may have imagined planning your wedding from the age of twelve, not everything necessarily could go according to your plan. In all great projects, everyone has obstacles to overcome and stress to deal with before the major event. Booking your honeymoon will give you a vacation to look forward to after the most stressful day of your life. Yes, your wedding day is known as the most stressful day of your life. The first day of your honeymoon, well, the word honeymoon just speaks for itself doesn't it?
And you don't need to go to some exotic place that costs oodles of money to have fun. Sure, booking a trip to Paris, Hawaii, a cruise through the Carribean, or an adventure outing in the African safari sounds great. However, all you need is some time with your newlywed spouse. That means if you think it is cheaper to go somewhere locally, then do so. Be sure to book it so that you will leave a few days after the wedding so you have time to recover from the big day. The last thing you want is to sleep in and miss your vacation!
Another piece of advice is that if you are not leaving the country and your cell phone has reception, remember to keep it off. The honeymoon is a time not to be bothered with your day to day stresses, whether it is from work or in-laws. If you have a hard time keeping the phone off, either keep it on silent always, or leave it at home. The peace and quite is worth it.
Take it from me, book your honeymoon as soon as possible, and you will be thanking me later!
Monday, July 24, 2006
Bridal Registries
This guide is for brides who’ve opted to create a bridal registry for their wedding.
What a Bridal Registry is:
A bridal registry is a way for brides and grooms to let their friends, family and coworkers – the wedding and bridal shower guests – know what their personal style, likes and dislikes are.
Why to Create a Bridal Registry:
Some brides and grooms choose not to create a bridal registry, claiming they would prefer their guests to choose unique and personal gifts. Without a bridal registry, guests are left in a precarious situation where they can either give money, which not everyone is comfortable with, or select a gift that may or may not be enjoyed by the bride and groom.
Furthermore, bridal registries are more of a help than a hindrance for your guest. You must remember that not every guest will intimately know the brides and grooms likes and dislikes. A bridal registry makes it easier for your guests because they can choose a gift, knowing that it is something you will enjoy.
When to Create a Bridal Registry:
Three to four months before your wedding is usually a good time for brides and grooms to register for their bridal registry. This leaves ample time before the bridal shower and wedding to get the word (of mouth) out about your bridal registry. If asked, you can tell others about your bridal registry, but in general leave it up to your immediate family and bridal party to pass the word around about the bridal registry or bridal registries.
If for some reason your bridal shower will be sooner though, register for your bridal registry earlier – a least a month beforehand. You may also choose to do it earlier if you are having an engagement party (again, create your bridal registry about one month before that event).
Where to Create a Bridal Registry:
Choosing one department store for your bridal registry is easy, as you can really create a one stop shopping experience for your guest. However, smaller specialty stores may better suit your likes and dislikes for the bridal registry.
Remember, you don’t have to choose just one store. Brides and grooms can create a bridal registry at several stores but keep it under four bridal registries – otherwise there are too many options for your guests and it can be overwhelming.
Stores including Linens N Things, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Williams-Sonoma, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Pier 1and Macy’s all have bridal registries. In addition, you can create a bridal registry at some discounters like Target. Higher end stores like Tiffany’s also have registries.
Choose stores you like to create bridal registries. Don’t choose a store just because it’s where you mom or sister registered – this is your bridal registry and it should reflect your personal style.
What to List on your Bridal Registry:
A bridal registry usually contains a selection of tabletop accessories like plates, china, glasses, crystal and flatware, in addition to bedding, bath accessories (towels, etc), and kitchen gadgets.
Take into account what you already own. If you have a great blender and a fabulous set of dishes, then don’t register for those items. Also consider that your tastes may change over time. Although you might not be the dinner party type right now, that could change in a few years and registering for items that will help you with that later is a great idea.
Be sure to register for a good number of items so that your guests have enough to choose from. In addition, check your registry shortly before the wedding (2 weeks in advance or so) and add items if necessary.
Here are a three suggested bridal registries:
The Casual Dining Bridal Registry
10-place settings of an everyday plate set
salt and pepper shakers
sugar bowl and creamer
serving platters/bowls including cake plate and salad bowl
butter dish
espresso cups and saucers (for 8-10)
flatware, including fork, salad fork, knife, teaspoon and tablespoon, for 10
serving spoons, forks, butter knife, and ladle
glasses for 10 (such a iced beverage glasses, wine glasses, etc)
tablecloths (1-2)
blender
coffee maker
coffee grinder
food processor
tea kettle
hand mixer
slow cooker
stand mixer (if you cook a lot)
bread machine
a good set of pans (should include small and large skillets and saucepans as well as a stockpot)
2 each – baking sheets, muffin pans, cake pans
colander
steamer insert
mixing bowls
measuring cups and spoons
a good set of knives (should include paring knife, chef’s knife, bread knife and steak knives)
sheet sets (2)
comforter and accessories (dust ruffle, shams, etc)
blankets (2)
bath towels, hand towels, washcloths for 6-8
shower curtain
bath mat
hamper
The Formal Dining Bridal Registry
all items on the Casual Dining Bridal Registry
formal china place settings for 12
rimmed soup bowls (in formal china pattern) for 12
formal china serving dishes and platters
charger plates (12)
crystal stemware for 12
silver flatware for 12
formal tablecloths (2)
The Traveler Bridal Registry
all items on the Casual Dining Bridal Registry
luggage sets for two
travel alarms (2)
honeymoon registry (offered at places like Liberty Travel, Sandals or TheHoneymoon.Com)
What a Bridal Registry is:
A bridal registry is a way for brides and grooms to let their friends, family and coworkers – the wedding and bridal shower guests – know what their personal style, likes and dislikes are.
Why to Create a Bridal Registry:
Some brides and grooms choose not to create a bridal registry, claiming they would prefer their guests to choose unique and personal gifts. Without a bridal registry, guests are left in a precarious situation where they can either give money, which not everyone is comfortable with, or select a gift that may or may not be enjoyed by the bride and groom.
Furthermore, bridal registries are more of a help than a hindrance for your guest. You must remember that not every guest will intimately know the brides and grooms likes and dislikes. A bridal registry makes it easier for your guests because they can choose a gift, knowing that it is something you will enjoy.
When to Create a Bridal Registry:
Three to four months before your wedding is usually a good time for brides and grooms to register for their bridal registry. This leaves ample time before the bridal shower and wedding to get the word (of mouth) out about your bridal registry. If asked, you can tell others about your bridal registry, but in general leave it up to your immediate family and bridal party to pass the word around about the bridal registry or bridal registries.
If for some reason your bridal shower will be sooner though, register for your bridal registry earlier – a least a month beforehand. You may also choose to do it earlier if you are having an engagement party (again, create your bridal registry about one month before that event).
Where to Create a Bridal Registry:
Choosing one department store for your bridal registry is easy, as you can really create a one stop shopping experience for your guest. However, smaller specialty stores may better suit your likes and dislikes for the bridal registry.
Remember, you don’t have to choose just one store. Brides and grooms can create a bridal registry at several stores but keep it under four bridal registries – otherwise there are too many options for your guests and it can be overwhelming.
Stores including Linens N Things, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Williams-Sonoma, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel, Pier 1and Macy’s all have bridal registries. In addition, you can create a bridal registry at some discounters like Target. Higher end stores like Tiffany’s also have registries.
Choose stores you like to create bridal registries. Don’t choose a store just because it’s where you mom or sister registered – this is your bridal registry and it should reflect your personal style.
What to List on your Bridal Registry:
A bridal registry usually contains a selection of tabletop accessories like plates, china, glasses, crystal and flatware, in addition to bedding, bath accessories (towels, etc), and kitchen gadgets.
Take into account what you already own. If you have a great blender and a fabulous set of dishes, then don’t register for those items. Also consider that your tastes may change over time. Although you might not be the dinner party type right now, that could change in a few years and registering for items that will help you with that later is a great idea.
Be sure to register for a good number of items so that your guests have enough to choose from. In addition, check your registry shortly before the wedding (2 weeks in advance or so) and add items if necessary.
Here are a three suggested bridal registries:
The Casual Dining Bridal Registry
10-place settings of an everyday plate set
salt and pepper shakers
sugar bowl and creamer
serving platters/bowls including cake plate and salad bowl
butter dish
espresso cups and saucers (for 8-10)
flatware, including fork, salad fork, knife, teaspoon and tablespoon, for 10
serving spoons, forks, butter knife, and ladle
glasses for 10 (such a iced beverage glasses, wine glasses, etc)
tablecloths (1-2)
blender
coffee maker
coffee grinder
food processor
tea kettle
hand mixer
slow cooker
stand mixer (if you cook a lot)
bread machine
a good set of pans (should include small and large skillets and saucepans as well as a stockpot)
2 each – baking sheets, muffin pans, cake pans
colander
steamer insert
mixing bowls
measuring cups and spoons
a good set of knives (should include paring knife, chef’s knife, bread knife and steak knives)
sheet sets (2)
comforter and accessories (dust ruffle, shams, etc)
blankets (2)
bath towels, hand towels, washcloths for 6-8
shower curtain
bath mat
hamper
The Formal Dining Bridal Registry
all items on the Casual Dining Bridal Registry
formal china place settings for 12
rimmed soup bowls (in formal china pattern) for 12
formal china serving dishes and platters
charger plates (12)
crystal stemware for 12
silver flatware for 12
formal tablecloths (2)
The Traveler Bridal Registry
all items on the Casual Dining Bridal Registry
luggage sets for two
travel alarms (2)
honeymoon registry (offered at places like Liberty Travel, Sandals or TheHoneymoon.Com)
Thursday, July 20, 2006
The Straight out of Bollywood Series
A friend of mine just recently told me that she and her boyfriend of one year have started to plan their wedding. I talked it over with her and she was fine with me outlining the events leading to her engagement and wedding under the condition that I would withhold their real names to keep their privacy.
My friends happen to both be desi, meaning they are of Southeast Asian origin. Both American citizens, they are first generation children trying to find a middle ground between their desi culture and American culture. Let's not forget to mention that they are also two different religions, Catholic and Hindu. Think that's crazy enough? Here's one more to add fuel to the possible stress mix, they are situated in different parts of the country. My girlfriend's in the Northeastern state of Connecticut and her counterpart is in the Midwestern state of Illinois.
Get ready to take part in a voyeuristic fashion as I document the life and times of Liberal Lady and Bhangra Boy!
My friends happen to both be desi, meaning they are of Southeast Asian origin. Both American citizens, they are first generation children trying to find a middle ground between their desi culture and American culture. Let's not forget to mention that they are also two different religions, Catholic and Hindu. Think that's crazy enough? Here's one more to add fuel to the possible stress mix, they are situated in different parts of the country. My girlfriend's in the Northeastern state of Connecticut and her counterpart is in the Midwestern state of Illinois.
Get ready to take part in a voyeuristic fashion as I document the life and times of Liberal Lady and Bhangra Boy!
My friend Liberal Lady
I decided to name my friend, the bride/fiance to be, Liberal Lady (LL for short), and her boyfriend, Bhangra Boy.
A little about Liberal Lady:
I have know Liberal Lady ever since I was born. She was probably my first friend. When I was growing up I would call her my best friend without hesitation. She was my favorite penpal. I saved every letter she wrote to me under my bed. We acted out mini skits together, and played imaginations games with our brothers.
She was two years older than me, so I looked up to her the way a younger sister would. I recall she was the first person to tell me about what our parents did to make us, since she was going through sex education before I did. She was always a feminist, persistently pointing out inequalities between the way we were treated by our parents and the way our younger brothers got treated.
In school, Liberal Lady excelled at everything and anything she did. Graduated with honors everywhere she went to school. Her Ivy League credentials and immaculate 4.0 GPA were things she never mentioned. Extremely modest, yet extremely intelligent, she challenged herself often. Did I mention she is a Professional dancer, and was even in a film once? How about that she made six figures working in finance only to take a drastic pay cut to work with children as a social worker? Or how about how active she is in the community? Despite all of her accomplishments, there was always one thing she felt she was missing.
And that one thing was Bhangra Boy.
A little about Liberal Lady:
I have know Liberal Lady ever since I was born. She was probably my first friend. When I was growing up I would call her my best friend without hesitation. She was my favorite penpal. I saved every letter she wrote to me under my bed. We acted out mini skits together, and played imaginations games with our brothers.
She was two years older than me, so I looked up to her the way a younger sister would. I recall she was the first person to tell me about what our parents did to make us, since she was going through sex education before I did. She was always a feminist, persistently pointing out inequalities between the way we were treated by our parents and the way our younger brothers got treated.
In school, Liberal Lady excelled at everything and anything she did. Graduated with honors everywhere she went to school. Her Ivy League credentials and immaculate 4.0 GPA were things she never mentioned. Extremely modest, yet extremely intelligent, she challenged herself often. Did I mention she is a Professional dancer, and was even in a film once? How about that she made six figures working in finance only to take a drastic pay cut to work with children as a social worker? Or how about how active she is in the community? Despite all of her accomplishments, there was always one thing she felt she was missing.
And that one thing was Bhangra Boy.
7 Must Have Qualities in a Maid of Honor
As a bride, you have a lot to do to plan a wedding. There are vendors to deal with, locations to book, invitations to get out, registries to register for – the list goes on and on. And through it all, the bridesmaids are there to support and help you whenever possible.
Choosing a maid of honor is an important task for the bride and needs to be handled as such. She will lead your team of bridesmaids, organize events for you and ultimately stand next to you on your big day.
Although you might love to have your closest cousin do the duty, if she isn’t the right type of person for the job the maid of honor choice could create more stress then it alleviates. Remember, you can always incorporate people into the ceremony as bridesmaids or perhaps even have them read something special. When choosing the maid of honor, keep it to the person best qualified for the job from your friends and family.
Every bride has different expectations of the maid of honor and be sure to know what yours are before choosing a maid of honor. You'll need to communicate these expectations as well, and it's probably a good idea to do so when asking her to be your maid of honor. In any case, there are certain qualities that a maid of honor needs to be successful and really help you through the wedding process.
Here are the seven must have qualities for a maid of honor:
1) Responsibility – The maid of honor will have a lot of responsibility. She’s your right hand, your confidant and the person who will arrange for those forgotten elbow length gloves to arrive just minutes before the wedding ceremony. The maid of honor has to not only be a responsible person, but one willing to take on this large load. If you don’t think she can, for whatever reason, then consider someone else.
2) Organization – Planning your bridal shower, a bachelorette (if you are having one), and keeping the bridesmaids in order are all responsibilities of the maid of honor. Plus, you may need her to keep track of other things as well, such as quotes received, invitations sent, etc. Her ability to organize work is important.
3) Teamwork skills – Ultimately, wedding planning is a team sport. It involves all the participants – bridesmaids, groomsmen and families – working together to create the day of your dreams and in your vision. Your maid of honor needs to be at the forefront of this and be able to play nice with others (such as the other bridesmaids), even if she isn’t that fond of them.
4) Leadership qualities – Leadership is synonymous with the maid of honor position. She’s the number one bridesmaid. Having someone who can inspire others without being too bossy or arrogant is necessary. She’ll need to be able to use her organization skills and teamwork skills to lead the bridesmaids through various wedding related activities.
5) Financial availability – Getting married is a costly affair to you and unless you are willing to foot the additional bills of a dress for your maid of honor, the cost of your bridal shower and/or bachelorette and any additional incidentals like hotel rooms, accessories, etc then your maid of honor needs to be in a financial place where this responsibility won’t leave her eating canned corn and mac and cheese for months.
6) Emotional availability – Wedding planning is stressful. Really stressful. And you need support during the process. Things will go wrong. There will be disagreements and differences of opinions. There will be hard times. All this is a given. From your maid of honor you need emotional support. More importantly, she has to be emotionally available to you. If she’s in a difficult emotional time (dealing with loss, disappointments, etc) this may be hard for her and in turn it’ll cause stress on your relationship. Be sure that your friend is going to be able to be there for you.
7) Physical availability – An absentee maid of honor who can’t find the time to answer phone calls, lend a hand and be there and on time is no good to you. Having a long distance maid of honor isn’t a problem so long as she can help from her location and make the time in her schedule to help you out.
Sarah Walker Caron is a writer, author and former maid of honor. Read more from her on Sarah's Cucina Bella.
Choosing a maid of honor is an important task for the bride and needs to be handled as such. She will lead your team of bridesmaids, organize events for you and ultimately stand next to you on your big day.
Although you might love to have your closest cousin do the duty, if she isn’t the right type of person for the job the maid of honor choice could create more stress then it alleviates. Remember, you can always incorporate people into the ceremony as bridesmaids or perhaps even have them read something special. When choosing the maid of honor, keep it to the person best qualified for the job from your friends and family.
Every bride has different expectations of the maid of honor and be sure to know what yours are before choosing a maid of honor. You'll need to communicate these expectations as well, and it's probably a good idea to do so when asking her to be your maid of honor. In any case, there are certain qualities that a maid of honor needs to be successful and really help you through the wedding process.
Here are the seven must have qualities for a maid of honor:
1) Responsibility – The maid of honor will have a lot of responsibility. She’s your right hand, your confidant and the person who will arrange for those forgotten elbow length gloves to arrive just minutes before the wedding ceremony. The maid of honor has to not only be a responsible person, but one willing to take on this large load. If you don’t think she can, for whatever reason, then consider someone else.
2) Organization – Planning your bridal shower, a bachelorette (if you are having one), and keeping the bridesmaids in order are all responsibilities of the maid of honor. Plus, you may need her to keep track of other things as well, such as quotes received, invitations sent, etc. Her ability to organize work is important.
3) Teamwork skills – Ultimately, wedding planning is a team sport. It involves all the participants – bridesmaids, groomsmen and families – working together to create the day of your dreams and in your vision. Your maid of honor needs to be at the forefront of this and be able to play nice with others (such as the other bridesmaids), even if she isn’t that fond of them.
4) Leadership qualities – Leadership is synonymous with the maid of honor position. She’s the number one bridesmaid. Having someone who can inspire others without being too bossy or arrogant is necessary. She’ll need to be able to use her organization skills and teamwork skills to lead the bridesmaids through various wedding related activities.
5) Financial availability – Getting married is a costly affair to you and unless you are willing to foot the additional bills of a dress for your maid of honor, the cost of your bridal shower and/or bachelorette and any additional incidentals like hotel rooms, accessories, etc then your maid of honor needs to be in a financial place where this responsibility won’t leave her eating canned corn and mac and cheese for months.
6) Emotional availability – Wedding planning is stressful. Really stressful. And you need support during the process. Things will go wrong. There will be disagreements and differences of opinions. There will be hard times. All this is a given. From your maid of honor you need emotional support. More importantly, she has to be emotionally available to you. If she’s in a difficult emotional time (dealing with loss, disappointments, etc) this may be hard for her and in turn it’ll cause stress on your relationship. Be sure that your friend is going to be able to be there for you.
7) Physical availability – An absentee maid of honor who can’t find the time to answer phone calls, lend a hand and be there and on time is no good to you. Having a long distance maid of honor isn’t a problem so long as she can help from her location and make the time in her schedule to help you out.
Sarah Walker Caron is a writer, author and former maid of honor. Read more from her on Sarah's Cucina Bella.
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